Friday, March 12, 2004
Real quick...
Crazy day. Morning consisted of a real brief time with the Lord, interrupted with lights going out, some electrical problem, roommates called fire dept, firemen (sirens and all) came, major problems with our electrical system, fire marshall came, went to ATS, came home after 12, inspecter there, land lady in big trouble. Possibly more later. I am writing from church because our electricity is now off for who knows how long. Exciting day! I'm coming home Sunday! I am looking forward to it, after a week or so of not. Whether it's good or bad, it's all God, and I have to trust Him. And, in faith, I do. Blessed be the name of the Lord! See you in a couple days!
Crazy day. Morning consisted of a real brief time with the Lord, interrupted with lights going out, some electrical problem, roommates called fire dept, firemen (sirens and all) came, major problems with our electrical system, fire marshall came, went to ATS, came home after 12, inspecter there, land lady in big trouble. Possibly more later. I am writing from church because our electricity is now off for who knows how long. Exciting day! I'm coming home Sunday! I am looking forward to it, after a week or so of not. Whether it's good or bad, it's all God, and I have to trust Him. And, in faith, I do. Blessed be the name of the Lord! See you in a couple days!
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Continuing my catch-up on journaling...
Joppa Dream
Alrighty, so....the last catch-up journal entry I did was about Floyd McClung. The next day was Friday, and the beginning of World Mandate weekend. That Friday morning, I woke up urgently praying out loud (though not really out loud, but in my dream...as I woke up...I know, confusing) "Is anyone praying for Joppa, may I intercede for Joppa???!!" It was so so real, and my spirit was so alert and full of a sense of urgency. It continued to roll around in me as long, drawn-out process of waking up played out. When I was actually awake enough to do anything, I turned to look at my poster to the right of my bed of all the world's flags, fully expecting to see a flag for some country named "Joppa." I was shocked and slightly alarmed to see there was no Joppa. I never recalled there being a country named Joppa, but since it was so real in my dream/whatever you want to call it, I figured it must be a country. So my thought then was to do a search online for Joppa. But I had slept too long, and had no time....so I had to run out the door, basically.
As I was sitting waiting for worship to start before ATS, pondering this whole Joppa thing, Ty, the ATS director, came over to me to ask how I was doing. Early on in our conversation I asked, "What's Joppa? Is it anything? A place?" And I proceeded to tell him my "dream." "Yeah," he said, and began to look through the maps in the back of his Bible. I read in the dictionary in the back of my Bible that Joppa was an ancient city on the coast of Palestine...and that helped us find it on his maps. Intriguing. Ty estimated it was...hmm..I can't remember...but some distance away from Jerusalem...100 miles, maybe? Anyway, I had a picture in my mind so that I might possibly be able to figure out what it would be present-day. Later that day I looked up Joppa on biblegateway.com and pulled up all references which included the word Joppa. There were random references throughout the OT as well as NT. A couple examples: it's the city Jonah went to to get on a ship to go to Tarshish when he was disobeying God's direction to go to Nineveh...it's also where Paul raised Dorcus/Tabetha from the dead and was also where Cornelius sent for Paul. Anywho. So then later, while I was lying on my bed, I was looking at my map (to the left of my bed) and the closest thing to Jerusalem was "Tel Aviv-Yofa." So I looked up Tel Aviv-Yofa online, to see if *by chance* (chance, bleh) it could be the present-day Joppa. Well, yeah..it is. I clicked on an encyclopedia article thing, and the first thing I saw was something like, "Tel Aviv-Yofa (or Joppa)" !! Is this not crazy? So the least I can pull from all this is that I need to intercede for Tel Aviv, Israel...if not the entire country. The whole process of investigation was quite fun. Still is, as I don't know how it's going to unfold, if it will any more. Who knows if I'll ever even set foot in Israel...I would like to...but I know it will be on my personal prayer list until God says to do otherwise. God is fun. :)
Joppa Dream
Alrighty, so....the last catch-up journal entry I did was about Floyd McClung. The next day was Friday, and the beginning of World Mandate weekend. That Friday morning, I woke up urgently praying out loud (though not really out loud, but in my dream...as I woke up...I know, confusing) "Is anyone praying for Joppa, may I intercede for Joppa???!!" It was so so real, and my spirit was so alert and full of a sense of urgency. It continued to roll around in me as long, drawn-out process of waking up played out. When I was actually awake enough to do anything, I turned to look at my poster to the right of my bed of all the world's flags, fully expecting to see a flag for some country named "Joppa." I was shocked and slightly alarmed to see there was no Joppa. I never recalled there being a country named Joppa, but since it was so real in my dream/whatever you want to call it, I figured it must be a country. So my thought then was to do a search online for Joppa. But I had slept too long, and had no time....so I had to run out the door, basically.
As I was sitting waiting for worship to start before ATS, pondering this whole Joppa thing, Ty, the ATS director, came over to me to ask how I was doing. Early on in our conversation I asked, "What's Joppa? Is it anything? A place?" And I proceeded to tell him my "dream." "Yeah," he said, and began to look through the maps in the back of his Bible. I read in the dictionary in the back of my Bible that Joppa was an ancient city on the coast of Palestine...and that helped us find it on his maps. Intriguing. Ty estimated it was...hmm..I can't remember...but some distance away from Jerusalem...100 miles, maybe? Anyway, I had a picture in my mind so that I might possibly be able to figure out what it would be present-day. Later that day I looked up Joppa on biblegateway.com and pulled up all references which included the word Joppa. There were random references throughout the OT as well as NT. A couple examples: it's the city Jonah went to to get on a ship to go to Tarshish when he was disobeying God's direction to go to Nineveh...it's also where Paul raised Dorcus/Tabetha from the dead and was also where Cornelius sent for Paul. Anywho. So then later, while I was lying on my bed, I was looking at my map (to the left of my bed) and the closest thing to Jerusalem was "Tel Aviv-Yofa." So I looked up Tel Aviv-Yofa online, to see if *by chance* (chance, bleh) it could be the present-day Joppa. Well, yeah..it is. I clicked on an encyclopedia article thing, and the first thing I saw was something like, "Tel Aviv-Yofa (or Joppa)" !! Is this not crazy? So the least I can pull from all this is that I need to intercede for Tel Aviv, Israel...if not the entire country. The whole process of investigation was quite fun. Still is, as I don't know how it's going to unfold, if it will any more. Who knows if I'll ever even set foot in Israel...I would like to...but I know it will be on my personal prayer list until God says to do otherwise. God is fun. :)
Monday, March 08, 2004
Still no word from H. Hard day.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
Home In 7 Days
There seems to be too much going on (internally, mainly) to even attempt to journal, which explains some why my entries are so few and far between. After a couple of months of not dwelling on certain things, the floodgates of thought opened this weekend. So this week will be interesting. More anxieties and fears are arising concerning this weekend, though praise God I'm not in control. He is so good. He is carrying me. And breaking me throughout all of it--a much needed thing, I'll add. I've never felt like such a failure as a friend. I'm really no good. And any good that is in me is purely Him. Apart from Jesus, there is no good thing in me. I am becoming more convinced of this with each day.
As I told Loopy, when I'm not in personal contact with someone and don't know what's going on, my mind begins to imagine things, sometimes things incredibly absurd, but because it's the only thing my heart has to feed off of, it responds as though it's the way it is, and to some extent I deal with the emotions as though I was living the imagined scenerio. And that just makes life more difficult. It's like I imagine the most painful possibilities while my heart takes the beating. I wish I didn't do it, but I often don't feel like I can help it. One things it does, though, is prepare my heart for just about anything. I'm hoping so, at least.
I love my roommates. Such a joy living here with them. On all levels, it is so so good. They bless me so much. Tonight as Lauren was leaving my room, after she and I had talked for a little while, she just heaped encouragement and blessing on me, including saying, "I am so thankful for you and that you live here. You have brought so much to this house, more than the rest of us put together." And she didn't really mean that "more than the rest of us" comment literally, but I guess was just stressing her point. I am so blessed. And that was said among other things. Who am I that I get to live in such an ideal set-up with such godly girls? I am surrounded by faith, accountability, rich conversations of God's goodness and the power of His Word. I'm a nobody...but I'll take it any day.
Good day today. Probably the day with the least amount of tears since...last weekend, maybe. Granted, I haven't gone to bed yet, and that's where they often show up. So we'll see. I was at the Gulley's house for almost 5 hours today, for Wheaton team meeting and prayer shield. We started an hour and a half earlier today to go over the results of our Birkman tests, which I may or may not mention in a later entry. Jason was our results interpreter, as he is the official Birkman test guy at AMI. I told him before I knew any of the results that I was intrigued with the test, though skeptical of the outcome...and yet expecting to be surprised and pleased. And that I was. I usually don't like any kind of personality survey thingamajigs, but this is no ordinary thingamajig. Wow. I am thoroughly amazed. They got me to a T in some areas. Very insightful. And it shows us our potential strengths and weaknesses as a team. In multiple areas. It shows us how we respond under pressure and...and...and...yeah...perhaps more later. Going to bed isn't a bad idea. So off I go.
There seems to be too much going on (internally, mainly) to even attempt to journal, which explains some why my entries are so few and far between. After a couple of months of not dwelling on certain things, the floodgates of thought opened this weekend. So this week will be interesting. More anxieties and fears are arising concerning this weekend, though praise God I'm not in control. He is so good. He is carrying me. And breaking me throughout all of it--a much needed thing, I'll add. I've never felt like such a failure as a friend. I'm really no good. And any good that is in me is purely Him. Apart from Jesus, there is no good thing in me. I am becoming more convinced of this with each day.
As I told Loopy, when I'm not in personal contact with someone and don't know what's going on, my mind begins to imagine things, sometimes things incredibly absurd, but because it's the only thing my heart has to feed off of, it responds as though it's the way it is, and to some extent I deal with the emotions as though I was living the imagined scenerio. And that just makes life more difficult. It's like I imagine the most painful possibilities while my heart takes the beating. I wish I didn't do it, but I often don't feel like I can help it. One things it does, though, is prepare my heart for just about anything. I'm hoping so, at least.
I love my roommates. Such a joy living here with them. On all levels, it is so so good. They bless me so much. Tonight as Lauren was leaving my room, after she and I had talked for a little while, she just heaped encouragement and blessing on me, including saying, "I am so thankful for you and that you live here. You have brought so much to this house, more than the rest of us put together." And she didn't really mean that "more than the rest of us" comment literally, but I guess was just stressing her point. I am so blessed. And that was said among other things. Who am I that I get to live in such an ideal set-up with such godly girls? I am surrounded by faith, accountability, rich conversations of God's goodness and the power of His Word. I'm a nobody...but I'll take it any day.
Good day today. Probably the day with the least amount of tears since...last weekend, maybe. Granted, I haven't gone to bed yet, and that's where they often show up. So we'll see. I was at the Gulley's house for almost 5 hours today, for Wheaton team meeting and prayer shield. We started an hour and a half earlier today to go over the results of our Birkman tests, which I may or may not mention in a later entry. Jason was our results interpreter, as he is the official Birkman test guy at AMI. I told him before I knew any of the results that I was intrigued with the test, though skeptical of the outcome...and yet expecting to be surprised and pleased. And that I was. I usually don't like any kind of personality survey thingamajigs, but this is no ordinary thingamajig. Wow. I am thoroughly amazed. They got me to a T in some areas. Very insightful. And it shows us our potential strengths and weaknesses as a team. In multiple areas. It shows us how we respond under pressure and...and...and...yeah...perhaps more later. Going to bed isn't a bad idea. So off I go.
