Monday, December 08, 2003
Trying to run the race
For a little while now, the past few days particularly, I've felt like I've been trying to run with all my might, but am hardly moving at all. It's like I have chains tied to each of my arms and legs and weights to each of the chains. But....what, exactly, are those weights/chains, and how, exactly, do I shake them? Could they be personal faults? Anything else? I need wisdom.
For a little while now, the past few days particularly, I've felt like I've been trying to run with all my might, but am hardly moving at all. It's like I have chains tied to each of my arms and legs and weights to each of the chains. But....what, exactly, are those weights/chains, and how, exactly, do I shake them? Could they be personal faults? Anything else? I need wisdom.
Saturday, December 06, 2003
It's Chilly!
We had a life group leaders' Christmas party tonight--in a barn. Boy, was it cold! My toes froze and I had to thaw them on the way home in LD's car. Brr!! And, of course, our central heating upstairs is broken again, but thank you Lord for portable heaters! That's making it bearable.
Harmony
I thought perhaps I should explain my blog name. "Harmony" is something the Lord has been putting on my heart lately. [lol...just a side note...the lights in my room keep flashing on and off. Probably b/c of the heaters, we're using a lot of electricity, and we keep blowing the circuits (correct terminology?). So someone must be downstairs flipping it back on every time it switches off....I dunno, I'm humored by it]. Okay. In my own personal "self-evaluation" or just thinking about how I work, I've noticed that I don't act the same way around everyone. I think I began to notice it when I went to CA2 and the other foreigners there thought I was incredibly quiet and shy, and I thought multiple times that my friends back home would think that was hilarious, for people who know me well would probably be far from choosing those two adjectives to describe me. But I didn't feel I was being deceiving in any way. So, being the analogy-thinker that I am, I wondered if I was like a chameleon, which changes with each setting. And this could work, but a chameleon matches what it's around, whereas I tend to balance those that I'm around. So the chameleon picture didn't exactly fit. But I've still pondered it some every now and then.
A couple weeks ago, when I was spending time with the Lord, I had a CD playing worship songs, and I was singing along, and was singing harmony. And I was just thinking about how I automatically harmonize to songs (and whether it sounds good or not, that's another story...but I automatically go to harmonizing). For a while in chamber choir my junior year, I think most of the choir genuinely thought I was incapable of singing melody. And, really, sometimes I confuse the two, because I've become so used to singing the harmony. So, as I was pondering this, the Lord impressed on my heart that my harmonizing in music is symbolic of my life. I harmonize with people. I make music with people. If I'm around people who tend to be more soft-spoken, I tend to be less so, or to draw them out some. And, on the flip side, when I'm around louder people, I often draw back.
I began to look for verses in the Bible that could have to do with this, and here's one I like, that I want to make a personal goal:
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8
I like this new thought that I'm a harmonizer in life. And, hence, the Blog title: Harmony. Lord, let it always be true
We had a life group leaders' Christmas party tonight--in a barn. Boy, was it cold! My toes froze and I had to thaw them on the way home in LD's car. Brr!! And, of course, our central heating upstairs is broken again, but thank you Lord for portable heaters! That's making it bearable.
Harmony
I thought perhaps I should explain my blog name. "Harmony" is something the Lord has been putting on my heart lately. [lol...just a side note...the lights in my room keep flashing on and off. Probably b/c of the heaters, we're using a lot of electricity, and we keep blowing the circuits (correct terminology?). So someone must be downstairs flipping it back on every time it switches off....I dunno, I'm humored by it]. Okay. In my own personal "self-evaluation" or just thinking about how I work, I've noticed that I don't act the same way around everyone. I think I began to notice it when I went to CA2 and the other foreigners there thought I was incredibly quiet and shy, and I thought multiple times that my friends back home would think that was hilarious, for people who know me well would probably be far from choosing those two adjectives to describe me. But I didn't feel I was being deceiving in any way. So, being the analogy-thinker that I am, I wondered if I was like a chameleon, which changes with each setting. And this could work, but a chameleon matches what it's around, whereas I tend to balance those that I'm around. So the chameleon picture didn't exactly fit. But I've still pondered it some every now and then.
A couple weeks ago, when I was spending time with the Lord, I had a CD playing worship songs, and I was singing along, and was singing harmony. And I was just thinking about how I automatically harmonize to songs (and whether it sounds good or not, that's another story...but I automatically go to harmonizing). For a while in chamber choir my junior year, I think most of the choir genuinely thought I was incapable of singing melody. And, really, sometimes I confuse the two, because I've become so used to singing the harmony. So, as I was pondering this, the Lord impressed on my heart that my harmonizing in music is symbolic of my life. I harmonize with people. I make music with people. If I'm around people who tend to be more soft-spoken, I tend to be less so, or to draw them out some. And, on the flip side, when I'm around louder people, I often draw back.
I began to look for verses in the Bible that could have to do with this, and here's one I like, that I want to make a personal goal:
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8
I like this new thought that I'm a harmonizer in life. And, hence, the Blog title: Harmony. Lord, let it always be true
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
I just want to be with You
So come here and
put Your arms around me
I just want to love You
So come close and
look right at me
So I can sing into Your eyes
So I can look into Your heart
So I can feel You by my side
And know that You're here
James Mark Gulley (c)1999 RainDance Chants
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
I just want to be with You
So come here and
put Your arms around me
I just want to love You
So come close and
look right at me
So I can sing into Your eyes
So I can look into Your heart
So I can feel You by my side
And know that You're here
James Mark Gulley (c)1999 RainDance Chants
Monday, December 01, 2003
Butter knife or Ax?
I just spent time with AG and she shared a saying her mom uses: "It is better to cut off the monkey's tail with an ax than a butter knife." I am needing wisdom this morning in differentiating the two and how to practically live out the "ax" in my life.
Ever not been willing to do something the Lord's asked of you, but been willing to be willing? Again, my status of the morning. Lord Jesus, I need Your help. I need You.
I just spent time with AG and she shared a saying her mom uses: "It is better to cut off the monkey's tail with an ax than a butter knife." I am needing wisdom this morning in differentiating the two and how to practically live out the "ax" in my life.
Ever not been willing to do something the Lord's asked of you, but been willing to be willing? Again, my status of the morning. Lord Jesus, I need Your help. I need You.
